Happy Anniversary Part 2

I have been dreaming of how to make our first anniversary memorable and sweet. I want to have a story to tell the kids you know?

For our lovely sunburned Anniversary dinner, we decided to go to the Melting Pot.

What an adventure. We knew that the hotel offered a tram service to and from this huge outlet mall near the Melting Pot. "Near" you say? Well, about 1/2 a mile. This is not a far walk, but when in my head I am thinking of wearing a new dress with nice shoes- I did not want to walk 1/2 a mile on a major road, AT NIGHT, for a nice romantic dinner.

After pouting and changing into FLIP FLOPS, we caught the the tram headed for the outlet mall. The driver was nice enough to take us to the restaurant but informed us that we would have to walk back to the mall to be picked up. Everything was looking good.

The dinner was great, the dessert was better... the best. It was very $$$ and I know that it was more for the ambiance than anything else- but My husband was sweet enough to take me and we enjoyed it.

WARNING! If you easily turn your nose up to bathroom humor, please read no further.

Like I said earlier, our driver told us that we needed to walk 1/2 a mile down the scary, marshy, unpaved unless you walk on the highway "path," to be picked up. So with our extremely full bellies, we headed off into the alligator infested swamps of beach town Florida.

OBSTACLES:

1. Slowly walk across grassy area and sink into marsh.

2. See that your only option is to walk through more scary uncharted territory or choose oncoming traffic.
3. Begin to panic and go for slight jog.

4. Digestion begins

5. Begin to panic... again.

6. Begin rocking chair dance (lean forward from thoughts of throwing up, lean back from thoughts of squeezing your EVERYTHING!)

Now, everyone has had those times in life that they have had to use the restroom quickly. However, I have never had a time in my life where I thought I was going to have to use the highway as the restroom. OH MY GOODNESS. One should never jog after a very $$$ meal- what a waste.

I seriously believe that I could sell the next exercise BUTT routine. I would call it, "The Squeez-inator."

As we were approaching the Heavenly lights of bathroom salvation, I seriously thought I was not going to make it. "How romantic," I thought. Nothing says "Happy Anniversary" like hot and steamy, um, poop in your pants. Luckily, we made it to a restroom with ZERO time to spare. I mean, zero, zilch, barley time to lift your skirt and be proper in an unfamiliar place kind of time.

Ahh! I feel better just thinking about. I quickly washed my hands and tried to not be seen as the "one who just left the stink." We headed back home with thoughts of having a nice glass of wine and walking on the beach at night....Romantic.

The real story- we were so burnt and tired, we fell asleep. Ahh... it's official, I am married.

So there you have it. We have a story.